God’s Sovereignty and Lyme’s Disease

Last Tuesday and Wednesday were two of the most stressful days of my life. I have wanted to go to Swaziland Africa since I was in 5^th grade and in one night God was asking me to surrender everything about this trip to him. On Sunday night my heart was beating really fast and my fingers and toes had become numb. On Monday my heart felt better but the numbness was getting worse. I could feel everything on my right side, but slowly I was losing more feeling on my left side. By Tuesday afternoon the numbness had spread to my face. So the decision was made to go to the doctor. The doctor was not sure what was wrong. He prescribed steroids and said to come back if anything got worse. By that night things were much worse. There was a lot of pain and the numbness was progressing. Decisions were being made and they were decisions that broke my heart. If I did not have a doctor’s appointment with a neurologist by Thursday at 12 I would be going home. I was so angry. I wrestled with God. I asked him, “Why me? Why here?, Why Now?.” I continued to ask him how he could take something I had wanted for so long away from me.” Little did I know after asking those things God was going to reveal how truly selfish my heart was. God reminded me of a couple things I had forgotten. He reminded me that he is the same God here in Africa that he is in America. He told me he did not need me, of course he wanted me here, and would use me here but he did not need me here. He chose for me to be on this trip and with or without me his will would be done. I could not believe what God was telling me and again my heart was broken.  In one night I had to be willing to surrender this trip and everything it meant to me. I cried and told God that if I stayed or if I went it would be okay. Later in the night my mom called. She said that my dad had been experiencing the same thing and she too had lost feeling in her arm. My dad had gone to the doctor and although the test results would not be back for seven days the doctor was pretty sure it was Lyme Disease. We still weren’t positive that was what was wrong with me so the next morning we met halfway between Nosoko and Manzini to pick up all my luggage and my passport in case I did have to go home. A little group of the girls came to say goodbye and gave me a bag full of notes, some funny, some serious, and for the most part all of them had a common theme.  7of the girls who wrote notes put Isaiah 43: 1-7 inside. On the Saturday before a girl in my group gave me that same verse to read. When I read that verse on Saturday I found great comfort in it. This time when I read the verse God revealed my heart to me again. This was my water and instead of believing that God was going to keep me standing I decided I was going to drown. I forgot about the power of prayer, and about the most important part which is verse 5, “Do not be afraid because I am with you.” God never left my side and as we went to the doctor this time there was less fear. My God was there and with him whatever happened would be okay. We went to the doctor and asked for a blood test for a tick bite. Afraid that it would take seven days we were still planning on going to the neurologist. He said they could do the test and it would take only 20 minutes to know. I don’t think I have ever been so excited and scared at the same time. If this test came out positive I would be staying in Swaziland, if this test came out negative I would be going home. Easy to say it was the longest 20 minutes of my life, but when the doctor came back he said I was positive for Lyme Disease. I have never praised God more for an illness. I would be going back to the house with the all the girls that day. There was no plane ride in my near future and it was all because of God.