On November 6^th our team was eating at Ramblas (a nice restaurant) for lunch. I had just finished eating and Christine (a missionary here) called one of the leaders needing two girls to volunteer to go to the school in Manzini to help teach dance. I didn't want to volunteer at first, but half the team had just got their food and I was already done eating so I volunteered. I told Christine that I have had a little bit of dance lessons so she put me with the 7^th graders. I love age group of girls, but teaching them dance....uhhhhh I don't know about that! 

                 I basically spent the 2 hours I had at the school listening to 14 7^th grade girls tell me their opinions about the dance. Then Christine and I put them into lines and decided that they needed to do two songs and one group instead of two different groups, which were unfairly divided between the more energetic girls and the quieter girls. They said it was divided by the better dancers, but in all honesty all the girls have the moves. Anyways, all that is beside the point. We finished the practice with just the beginning done that they had already made up.

                              I thought really hard on this dance I had to make up for these girls. (By the way they love to pop and drop it, so with my little dance experience I was making up a dance for pop n' lockin type girls, I was really nervous that I wouldn't meet their expectations.) Going back the 2^nd time a week later, I managed to get through what I had planned to teach them and they seemed to like it. And, I realized I love this! I spent half the time yelling over them and having to tell them to stand up and put their phones away and to just LISTEN! But it was wonderful and they are wonderful girls.

                                    So, over the past 3 weeks I have been able to go with Christine to the school and teach dance to the girls 5 times. Monday we finally finished the dance with only 9 girls out of the 14 there, and tonight (Wednesday 11-25) is their performance. The girls are doing two dances: Shackles by MaryMary and a song by Kirk Franklin; and then they are singing another MaryMary song (they are all religious songs). Tonight the whole school is performing for their parents and friends for the end of the school year celebration. The 7^th graders are graduating in December and so they get more to perform. This school is the nicest school in Swaziland, for instances one of the Kings sons goes to school there and these kids come from very well off homes. 

                                                  In Nsoko I got to be a part of the bible study for the 11-16 year old girls and I got close to a lot of the 14 year olds. And now I am getting to work with that same age group again in Manzini. I will say there is a difference in atmosphere and way of life between the two groups of girls; they're actually two extremes of Swaziland. The girls in Nsoko didn't have much and didn't speak English very well at all. The girls in Manzini speak English very well, and I had no problem with the girls understanding me or me understanding them.  It's just a different way of life and I'm happy I have gotten to see both sides and know both sides of life as a 14 year old in Swaziland. When it comes down to it they are all so much alike. I mean, I couldn't get Nsoko girls to listen at bible study and I can't get the Manzini school girls to listen to me teach dance. But I am so thankful that I volunteered to teach dance and have gotten the chance to know these girls.

                                            At the last practice they performed like they were bored out of their minds, so I yelled out crazy things to them to make them smile. I then had to have a little talk with them about not ‘booty shaking' too much (haha). BY THE WAY did I mention how much they LOVE Michael Jackson, so of course we put some MJ moves into the dance. Today is the day to see how it all comes out, and for them to perform without me up front reminding them what to do. Here we go! Oh and Maybe I can add a picture later!!

                               MUCH LOVE FROM SWAZILAND!!!

                                    HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

                                                                                                  Love,

                                                                                                              Teacher Brooke!!!

When my World Race squad was in Swaziland back in January, a few of my teammates had the opportunity to minister to a woman named Dudu. Dudu is 27 years old and has been living with AIDS and TB. Back in January her situation seemed hopeless and the hearts of my teammates broke over this woman's condition. The loved her and cared for her, and even spent time with her in the hospital. I never met her back then, but heard story upon story about her. Their time spent with her was also a process of "learning to die" with her, and understanding what it means to minister to someone who is past medical help. They left Swazi thinking that she would pass away very soon.

                Since returning to Swazi, I was completely surprised to learn during our first week that Dudu was still alive, living across the street with her mother, father, sisters, and her son. When I found out, I was completely overjoyed. I couldn't believe that this woman who I heard so much about in January as being on her deathbed was still here. Her situation was still heartbreaking, spending most of her days lying on the bed and struggling to speak, but she was still here. Our girls struggled a little in the beginning with how to minister to someone in her condition, but as the weeks went by they grew in their ability to love her and care for her in beautiful ways. I saw the Lord sustaining her and saw it as a gift that we got to love her. Even last week, her son turned one year old and we were able to throw him a birthday party. That was the only time I was able to go to her house and I got to sit with Dudu, feed her birthday cake, and hold her hand. She is so incredibly beautiful.

                Every day that the girls go to Dudu's, they never know what to expect. On the ‘good' days, her family sits her on the porch and she is able to speak a little; and on the ‘bad' days, she is confined to her bed and it takes every ounce of energy to eke out the smallest of sounds. This past Wednesday, our girls went over to her house for a visit. Dudu was lying in her bed looking so small and weak. Even though her condition looked bad, it is usually the most common. They sat with her, prayed with her, and read her letters they had written for her. Though those days are hard, it is beautiful to be able to sit with someone in their pain and let them know how much God loves them, that they are not forgotten.

                A few hours after the girls had gone to see her, one of our translators came to our house to tell us that Dudu had passed away. Our girls just broke. Though this news wasn't necessarily unexpected, we really didn't think it would happen. There was sadness and anger and helplessness. Having to face the reality of death in this place is almost unbearable. To see this beautiful, 27 year old woman with a one year old child be taken away from this world in such a painful way is heartbreaking. Everything about it shows the injustice and sin of this world, and being faced with it in such a real way can be incredibly overwhelming.

                In the midst of all this sadness, our role in her life was not finished. Erica and I drove Dudu's family, along with Dudu's lifeless body to the funeral home and helped her mother and sister pick out a coffin. I don't think the gravity of all of that has settled in yet, but I can truly say I felt so honored to be able to do this for Dudu. I know her life has touched so many people. Countless teams have come through this place with the intent of ministering to her, but I feel like she has been able to minister to them as well. She taught them how to love and serve and understand not only the reality of death but the beauty of praising God in the midst of it. She taught them how to sit with her in her suffering, and love her when there was nothing else to do. Every team left this place saying goodbye to Dudu and didn't know how long she had; but we were here to say the final goodbye, knowing that the next time we meet we will never have to say it again.  And even though it is hard to be here right now going through this loss, I rejoice in knowing that she is in Heaven, standing before her Father, praising His name and no longer living under earthly pain. Her body has been restored and it is beautiful.  

While here in Nsoko we have been able to work at the care point where we are staying. The first week while here we met a four year old boy named Sponge. He is so full of energy and life. And for some reason he has attached himself to me, perhaps it's because like him I am full of energy. That first day we met him was talking non-stop and was super hyper; about a half hour into the day he fell and started crying. I picked him up to comfort him and within minutes he was asleep.  He slept for about an hour and a half on me and from that moment on we have been inseparable. We are two peas in a pod. One morning we had the door of our team house open but the gate on the front wasn't, I was woken up by a teammate telling me how Sponge was climbing it looking to find a way to get to me. I got him to get off the gate, but then he tried to climb through the window. It was funny and so cute. After opening the gate he ran inside and sat on my lap and colored, and then proceeded to explore our team house. Every morning when I go outside around 8am I am greeted by my sweet little Sponge. He's a total ham when a camera gets brought out as well. I have taken countless pictures of him and me making funny faces. But he has a serious side to him as well, but it only comes out when he is coloring. He gets real quiet and will focus on what he is drawing until he is done. I have had the joy of getting to play, color, cuddle and love on him for the past month and a half. One of my favorite songs is "like a child" by Jars of Clay, it's about having faith like a child. Kids have such a real agape love for others and for Christ, they have faith that all will be fair and they believe truth without questioning. Agape is the Greek word for love, the purist form of love. If I were to love Christ with half of the love that Sponge has for me, the real agape love that he has, and have the Faith like he does that God can move mountains, that I can walk on water, love can heal the broken and hope can make you see, then maybe I would have a better grasp on God's love.

"Then He called his disciples and the crowd to come over and listen as he said... If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me. If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News you will find true life. And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process?"

This is our last week in the beautiful home we call Nsoko. And what a perfect ending to a place that has changed us each so drastically. I think I speak for our team when I say each one of us will never look at life the same again after living along side this inspiring community of believers.

The perfect ending started Friday when a lovely couple from Florida came to do a special art project with the children from the area. The man named Bob works for Delta, and their company decided to hold a coloring contest where each child got a piece of paper and a pack of crayons, donated by Crayola, and they got to color a picture of anything they wanted to. At the end of the time Bob and his wife Pattie collected  the pictures and took them home so that the CEO of Delta could pick the best one (although every paper was beautiful) so that Delta could auction the best drawing off on eBay. Hopefully this project will generate a ton of income so that a children's village can be built on the property we are now currently staying on. Our teams is praying daily for this project to be successful and are asking for ya'll at home to pray about this incredible project with us. Thanks!

As for my life God is making BIG CHANGES! And I could not be more thrilled about them.

He is truly showing me what it means to put aside all selfish ambitions, desires, thoughts, and anything else that is selfish in my heart. I have seen just how far and wide God's love spreads, and it is CRAZY! I feel that most of my life I have lived as a lukewarm Christian who never truly wanted God more than anything else. We listened to a song by Lifehouse and the words are "How can I stand here and not be moved by you...Your all I want Your all I need your everything." The words hit me like a ton of bricks! How often do I compare God's worth with other things in my life on accident... for example so many times I choose friends or family or items or money or stuff over God. How could I think for even a second that something on this puny little earth compares to the Creator and Sustainer and Savior of it all...

For the first time in my life I feel like I am willing to say "God you can have whatever you want, a wholehearted commitment to you is more important than anything or person in my life. Nothing I do in my life matters unless it is about loving you and loving people!"

I am falling so much deeper in love with my maker and I could not be more excited and ready to shout it from the roof tops! Like Psalms 63 says God's love is better than life itself! I want to experience true satisfaction and pleasure and joy in my relationship with him. I want to love Him more than ANYTHING on this earth; I want to treasure His kingdom of heaven so much that I would be willing to do ANYTHING in order to get that. I want to stand here and be truly moved by him.

I came to Swazi land thinking that I would help people. That is the purpose of missions right? To change the world by showing Christ's love to the broken and needy. What more noble cause is there than to love an aids orphan or to sit with a woman whose daughter has just died? I have discovered though that missions is so much more than that. It's about Christ changing me and shaping me into the woman he wants me to be. It's about seeing him in the little things like a child's smile. It's about him using the people of Nsoko to bless me.

Since week one of ministry, my team has had the opportunity to do house visits. We do this usually three times a week in the afternoons. Two or three of us will go with a translator to a person's home who is bedridden from illness. My first house visit was really awful. I felt useless, awkward and I didn't know how this visit was helping an individual who was near death. However, each time I went things got a little better. That's when God really started using me to bless a man and using that man's attitude to bless me.

His name is Sibusiso and he is so incredible. I met him on my first house visit, and since then I've grown increasingly excited to see him each week. He is 33 year old AIDS patient, who has been battling TB for about eight months. Since he is bedridden and can't work, there is no money for transportation to get him to the hospital to get medication.   His story breaks my heart.

Every week when I go to Sibusiso's house, I am encouraged.   In the beginning, I once again thought that I would be the one blessing him. It was hard knowing that I couldn't heal this man, but that I was able to pray, talk, sing and take food to him. It's phenomenal though what God can do through those twice a week visits. One afternoon, after several weeks of bonding with Sibusiso,  myself and two other teammates were able to hear his testimony as well as share our own. It was amazing to see the body of Christ connected even in another part of the world. 

Sharing testimonies was powerful, but what happened next can only be explained as my wake-up call from God. Lindley, one of my teammates, asked Sibusiso if he was ever angry or bitter at God for his illness. His response was that he was not bitter at God, because his illness had allowed him to spend more time with Christ and to draw closer to him. After he finished saying that, I burst into tears. Here is a man who is so sick and could die at anytime, yet he praises God. It totally put things into perspective for me. I give up so easily in hard times and I get angry at God instead of realizing that he brings hard times into my life, so I will run into his arms.

I want to leave you, my readers, with James 1:12. "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." I know that God will reward Sibusiso for his obedience and his attitude. Maybe not by healing him, but when he gets to heaven the Father will be there welcoming him saying job well done Sibusiso, my good and faithful servant. Through Sibusiso, Christ has shown me that missions is more than just helping the needy. It's about connecting with people physically, emotionally and spiritually, which is my calling as a Christian.

Last Tuesday and Wednesday were two of the most stressful days of my life. I have wanted to go to Swaziland Africa since I was in 5^th grade and in one night God was asking me to surrender everything about this trip to him. On Sunday night my heart was beating really fast and my fingers and toes had become numb. On Monday my heart felt better but the numbness was getting worse. I could feel everything on my right side, but slowly I was losing more feeling on my left side. By Tuesday afternoon the numbness had spread to my face. So the decision was made to go to the doctor. The doctor was not sure what was wrong. He prescribed steroids and said to come back if anything got worse. By that night things were much worse. There was a lot of pain and the numbness was progressing. Decisions were being made and they were decisions that broke my heart. If I did not have a doctor's appointment with a neurologist by Thursday at 12 I would be going home. I was so angry. I wrestled with God. I asked him, "Why me? Why here?, Why Now?." I continued to ask him how he could take something I had wanted for so long away from me." Little did I know after asking those things God was going to reveal how truly selfish my heart was. God reminded me of a couple things I had forgotten. He reminded me that he is the same God here in Africa that he is in America. He told me he did not need me, of course he wanted me here, and would use me here but he did not need me here. He chose for me to be on this trip and with or without me his will would be done. I could not believe what God was telling me and again my heart was broken.  In one night I had to be willing to surrender this trip and everything it meant to me. I cried and told God that if I stayed or if I went it would be okay. Later in the night my mom called. She said that my dad had been experiencing the same thing and she too had lost feeling in her arm. My dad had gone to the doctor and although the test results would not be back for seven days the doctor was pretty sure it was Lyme Disease. We still weren't positive that was what was wrong with me so the next morning we met halfway between Nosoko and Manzini to pick up all my luggage and my passport in case I did have to go home. A little group of the girls came to say goodbye and gave me a bag full of notes, some funny, some serious, and for the most part all of them had a common theme.  7of the girls who wrote notes put Isaiah 43: 1-7 inside. On the Saturday before a girl in my group gave me that same verse to read. When I read that verse on Saturday I found great comfort in it. This time when I read the verse God revealed my heart to me again. This was my water and instead of believing that God was going to keep me standing I decided I was going to drown. I forgot about the power of prayer, and about the most important part which is verse 5, "Do not be afraid because I am with you." God never left my side and as we went to the doctor this time there was less fear. My God was there and with him whatever happened would be okay. We went to the doctor and asked for a blood test for a tick bite. Afraid that it would take seven days we were still planning on going to the neurologist. He said they could do the test and it would take only 20 minutes to know. I don't think I have ever been so excited and scared at the same time. If this test came out positive I would be staying in Swaziland, if this test came out negative I would be going home. Easy to say it was the longest 20 minutes of my life, but when the doctor came back he said I was positive for Lyme Disease. I have never praised God more for an illness. I would be going back to the house with the all the girls that day. There was no plane ride in my near future and it was all because of God. 

As weeks go on here in Swazi I continue to see broken hearts and dry souls thirsty for living water. I see dying people, abused children, and people with righteous anger crying out for our Lord. And even though it may seem that something is blocking Heaven from flooding on this dry land we have to remember we serve a BIG GOD who is doing BIG things. He is God of the city of Nsoko, He is God of the people who we serve at the care points, and He is God of the nation of Swaziland.

This same God has completely rocked my world. He continues to shatter my heart with the use of one teenage girl who clings to me with hurt like I have never experienced before. Yet, through this hurt I am experiencing freedom like I have never felt before. God continues to use me despite my past, despite my little knowledge to the subject, and despite my emptiness.

It's amazing how alone you can feel surrounded by 18 girls and about a hundred children all around ALL THE TIME!! But for the first time in my life I am screaming out to Christ "here I am. All of me, everything finally!" and it feels so great! I realized the need to let go of the past and fix broken relationships. It clicked one night during worship when we sang the song I have sung so many times before, "Oh How He Loves." We got to the part saying we don't have time to maintain these regrets... HELLO!!